Dog Show Terms ;)

DOG SHOW TERMS

ANGULATION - Degree to which some dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress the Judges.

BALANCE - How to arrange the checkbook so your spouse won’t know how much you spent on Dog Shows last month. (Usually done in the bathroom with the door locked.)

BITCH - (A) Female Canine

(B) Term often over-heard at Dog Shows and not being used in reference to a female canine.

COAT - The hairy covering of a dog that inevitably begins to fall out three days prior to a Specialty show.

DAM - (A) Puppies’ mother

(B) Expression frequently over-heard at Dog Shows coming from handlers exiting the ring without a ribbon in their hands…and sometimes over-heard coming from the handlers with ribbons in their hands.

ELBOW - Method of getting to ringside when late.

EXPRESSION - (A) “Sweet” look given by dogs to handlers with a piece of liver in their hands.

(B) See DAM above

FANCIER - Degree to which some gentleman handlers dress in comparison to other gentlemen handlers in the ring.

FEATHERING - What some winners are accused of doing to Judges’ nests.

FRONT - (A) Part of the dog sometimes stacked toward the outside of the ring and sometimes not.

(B) Command for the dog to come quickly to the handler and to sit in front of the handler without knocking the handler over backwards while doing so or running out of the ring.

HEEL - (A) What you feel like when your Pick Puppy gets defeated by the Pet Quality Puppy you sold six months earlier to a very eager novice handler.

(B) Expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf dogs.

HEIGHT - As in “Maximum Allowed”, a measurement which all Champions fall under by AT LEAST 1/8 inch.

HOCK - A way to finance your dog shows by the use of jewelry; such as wedding rings, diamond necklaces and gold watches.

KENNEL - Where you go when the kids fight and your spouse yells at you.

LITTER - Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show.

MASK - What to wear when you end up showing a puppy you sold as Pet Quality six months earlier.

MUZZLE - What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call your competition on the way to the show grounds that morning.

NOSEPRINTS - Cute marks left all over your car windows and French doors.

OUTCROSSING - What your spouse tells the minister that you are doing in the kennel with the dog and bitch.

POINTS - Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes or paying the cable bill.

PUPPIES - Small dog-like food processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies. (These creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with a leaky system and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts.)

That's cute! I LOVE the definition of Muzzle...how true is that?!

Too funny...

Love it! Especially the "Balance" and "Points"......I never hear the end of my husband's gripes about what I put into my dogs!